The Farmhoof
by ZachFlame
Summary: "Ever since Granny Smith let that city-colt work and live at Sweet Apple Acres, Ah haven't been able to focus an a single thing. Even sleep And NO pony messes with Mah sleep."


**The Farmhoof**

Chapter: I

_Inspiration: Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites- Skrillex_

{A/N _**This print is used for special circumstances, such as covert conversations or letterwriting. **__This print is the first person character's thoughts. _All places, ponies, dragons, etc belong to Hasbro and MLP: FiM. I merely own the plot and select characters. Enjoy.}

_June 22_

_3 Months After Princess Twilight Sparkle's Ascension_

_Ponyville Tavern, Ponyville_

"Graagh!" growled a disgruntled Applejack. A hard week combined with a new employee had left her drained and in desperate need of a date with her girlfriends. Thus, here she was, explaining her misery to the five mares she could always go to.

Ever since Granny Smith had allowed a city-colt to live and work at Sweet Apple Acres until he earned enough to hold out on his own, she couldn't get a bit of work done without getting distracted. The Celestia-damned stallion refused to leave her alone! It did everything it could to 'prove' itself to her and her family that it could work like a country pony.

It bucked the Western Grove in five hours (a feat only Big Macintosh had been able to accomplish), it fed the cattle before dawn, and it even helped Applebloom with her schoolwork! Normally she wouldn't mind the helping hoof, but the problem was the distraction the stallion provided while he lived at her home.

Applejack never wanted non-family workers at Sweet Apple Acres because either the worker was distracted by her, or she was distracted by the worker. It didn't help that Applejack was in the middle of a… 'Sexuality Conflict' as Twilight termed it.

However, none of these factors frustrated her more than the fact that even while it was asleep, it distracted her. Horrid nightmares plagued the creature and due to her proximity to his room (The guestroom was next door to her and across from Applebloom), she was constantly being awoken to yells of anguish.

With her story finished, she sat back and took a swig of Sweet Apple Acre's Hard Cider while her friends comprehended the situation. "Darling, it sounds as though the poor stallion is just being kind. He isn't purposefully trying to distract you from working. Besides, this is an excellent opportunity to come over your fear of relationships! Imagine the times you and this gentlecolt could have together!"

"Rarity's right, Applejack. Just give the poor guy a chance and he might turn out alright," Twilight Sparkle said to her long-time friend. "But listen to this! Whenever I try to corner him to talk, he clams up and makes a weak excuse. Even worse, if he ever has a question he goes straight to Big Macintosh even if I'm closer!" Applejack half-yelled, getting an odd look from their bartender, Berry Punch.

"Maybe he's a coltcuddler? Most of them act weird around mares…" Rainbow Dash suggested. Applejack shook her head. "Nah, there's 'bout five copies of Playcolt hidden under his pillow. If he is, Ah'd think he'd have copies of Playfilly or one of 'em weirdo Las Pegasus magazines." The five ponies surrounding her shot her various odd looks as Pinkie Pie gasped.

"You, our innocentest, honestest, politest, mare in all of Equestria, broke into his room?!" The pink mare said, poking Applejack with each description. "No! Of course not! Granny Smith had me clean his room yesterday!" she said, glaring at Pinkie Pie. "Aww, and here I thought Las Pegasus ponies were good at being discrete!" Pinkie said.

With that, she frowned and pulled out a note book from under the barstool. "Las Pegasus…. Ponies… no good… at stealthy operations…." Once finished with her note, Pinkie Pie slid the notebook across the bar to Berry Punch, who nodded and put it under the counter. Twilight shook her head and asked Applejack, "What's his name? Maybe I can figure out his story and help him with his nightmares like Luna!"

Applejack shrugged. "Anything's better that just complaining. His name's Phoenix Blaze. If ya want a description of him, turn around," she said, pointing to a newcomer to the bar.

Phoenix Blaze was a tall, orange earth pony with bright green eyes. He wore a hat, not unlike Applejack's, that covered a mess of a black mane. His snout was a dark brown like his hooves, which were exposed like Big Mac's. The strangest thing about him, aside from the dark brown vest he wore, was his tail. His tail was a bright yellow and red- a sharp contrast to his black mane.

Phoenix walked to the bar table with a limp and asked for a non-alcoholic bottle of cider in a bass voice. Rainbow, who was sitting next to him, bumped his shoulder and asked "Hey, dude. What's your cutie mark supposed to be?" Twilight face-hoofed and admonished her new marefriend for being so rude.

The odd stallion took it in stride and answered "I have no idea. I woke up one day and saw it there." The mark in question was a crimson cross outlined in black. "Hey, Phoenix, how come ya don't drink?" The young stallion stiffened as he noticed that Applejack had moved beside him. "I uhh… don't want to talk about it," he replied.

"Sugarcube, yer more wound up than Pinkie Pie 'fore her birthday. What's got ya so tensed up?" Instead of answering, the stallion paid for his drink and left, accidently bumping into a brown stallion with an hourglass as a cutie mark.

"See! He gets like that every time I get close!"

"Maybe he had a bad experience in Las Pegasus, before he came here. A lot of city ponies escape their troubles by going into the country," Fluttershy suggested, speaking for the first time that evening.

"That would make sense. Something **must **have happened before he came here! I need to do some research!" Twilight exclaimed. Offering a quick goodbye to her friends, the librarian left for her home in search of answers, but not before pecking Rainbow Dash on the cheek.

Applejack sighed and put a small pile of coins on the counter. "Ah better get goin' to. I got some… stuff to check." Rainbow quirked an eyebrow at this. "It sounds like you're gonna spy on him or somethin'," she said, still blushing from Twilight's kiss. Defeated, the orange mare admitted her plans. "I'm gonna see if he does anything but scream in his sleep. He's an employee disturbing Mah sleep. Don't try to stop me." With that, she took her leave and was off for Sweet Apple Acres.

_Apple Custard Road, midway from Ponyville to Sweet Apple Acres_

Halfway to her home, Applejack began to pick up a whispered conversation off the road. "_**Phoenix Blaze!" **_ Surprised by her employee's name being mentioned, she stopped and strained her ears to hear more. A couple of other ponies were walking up, so she lept off the road and pressed herself against a tree. _**"You came this far East just to 'check on' me? Do you realize how **__stupid __**that is? What about her? You just left her?" **_

'_That was Phoenix!' _Applejack realized.

"_**You freaking dropped off the face of **__Equestria__**! I was worried and she was freaking out. I don't know if she followed me. I came here to see if you were even alive," **_came a tenor male voice racked with frustration and relief.

'_What in tarnation is goin' on?"_

"_**You knew I was gonna leave once my probation was over. I wasn't gonna stay. Too few good things in a sea of bad. Las Pegasus means nothing to me now,"**_came the cold response.

'_Probation? What the hay did Phoenix do? Fluttershy was right, _somethin' _did happen back home. But what?'_

"_**You left because you couldn't face me or Cryst-" **_The voice started, equally cold.

"_**Don't you dare mention **__her __**name! I am not afraid to beat you back West."**_

'_Whoa. Phoenix sounds like he's ready to kill somepony.'_

"_**Go away, Cloud -**_SNAP-_** what was that?"**_

'_Buck! Whorsefeathers!' _Applejack screamed in her head as she broke a twig accidently. She held her breath as a blue stallion came near, his horn glowing softly. He sniffed, and moved away from Applejack's tree. If she moved, she would be caught. Imagine how embarrassing that would be. Getting caught by your employee while you eavesdropped on a personal conversation.

She waited a few minutes until she heard somepony leave, and gingerly hopped back onto the main road, where she saw Phoenix guzzling down his cider from the tavern. "Howdy, Phoenix," Applejack said, acting as though she hadn't lived the past ten minutes.

The poor stallion was startled by his boss's appearance, and threw the bottle high in the air while jumping a few feet. However, before the glass impacted the compact dirt, the element of honesty caught the bottle in her Stetson. "Nice catch," Phoenix said, sheepishly rubbing his mane. Applejack laughed and said "Years of practice with the rodeo." She looked around, then up at Luna's full moon.

"Why don't we walk together? It's timber wolf season and I don't want to lose an employee." Instead of the expected 'I'll protect you' or 'I don't need your protection' most stallions would counter with, Phoenix just nodded and matched her pace. The pair failed to notice a blue unicorn shaking its head farther down the road.

_Sweet Apple Acres, Equestria _

Before long, the duo made it to their home. Outside the farmhouse, all was quiet, serene and peaceful. This tranquility made Applejack frown. "This can't be good."

"Why not? I thought Applebloom's friends were staying the night?"

"They are. When the Cutie Mark Crusaders are together, nothing is at ease," Applejack said forebodingly. Phoenix shrugged. "How much damage can three fillies cause?" Applejack simply chuckled and opened the door. What laid inside only surprised the city-pony.

A mess worthy of Discord himself was left of the once pristine living room, with Granny Smith's precious photo album knocked over and a passed out Applebloom in the center of the disaster zone. Phoenix's shocked expression quickly melted into an easy smile.

"Go ahead and take her upstairs. I'll clean up," Phoenix said, moving to return the photo shelf to its original position. Applejack opened her mouth to protest, but closed it and picked up her sister. On the way up, she checked on her brother and grandmother. _'They're both okay. After I put AB in bed, I can find a spot to lay low for the night in Phoenix's room.'_

Applejack opened her sister's door to find the missing two thirds of the Cutie Mark Crusaders sprawled across the bed, fast asleep. Applejack shook her head and nudged Scootaloo closer to the right just enough for Applebloom to slide in the middle. After tucking the young fillies in, Applejack marveled at the innocent sight. A welcome retreat from her stress-filled life.

'_These three are gonna wear each other out 'fore they get near their cutie marks. Wait, am Ah talkin' to myself? Ah am. Celestia-darn it.'_ Applejack shook her head to dispel thoughts on encroaching insanity.

"They're awful cute when they sleep, aren't they?"

Applejack jumped just high enough for her hat to brush the ceiling. "Sweet Luna! Phoenix, don't scare me like that! Darn near grew wings and flew!" Applejack whispered, trying to slow her heart. Phoenix blinked and started laughing.

"What?" "Th-that's a weird thought, you flying like a Pegasus," he said through muffled laughter. After they both had calmed down, Phoenix bid her goodnight and left for the bathroom to ready himself for bed.

'_Now's my chance!'_ Applejack realized. She quickly walked across the hall and waited for the tell-tale hiss of the shower starting. Once the shower started, she used the noise to cover her entering the room and the creaking door. _"I thought Big Macintosh offered to oil those darn hinges. He probably refused just to give Big Mac a break. Confusing stallion.'_

Applejack shrugged the thoughts away and scanned the room for a hiding place just big enough for her to squeeze into. Finding a space large enough, she shimmied her way into the area between a large plant and the left-hoof side of the bed. Then, she waited… And waited…. And waited…

Just as she was about to nod off, a vest-less Phoenix Blaze entered the room, black mane still dripping. As Applejack's eyes drifted down, she held a hoof to her mouth to muffle a gasp. A scar six inches long and very jagged blemished an otherwise impressive chest.

'_I had no idea he was so buff!'_ She narrowed her eyes in self-annoyance. _'Focus, AJ. What caused that scar?'_

The oblivious stallion looked into the mirror that stood on the left nightstand. _'Ah hope he doesn't focus on the plant. Luna, please don't let him look into the plant. _Phoenix sighed and began to talk to himself.

"You are an ugly brute, aren't ya?" He reached a hoof up to touch his torn ear, a point of curiosity for Applejack. "How did this happen to you? The mare of your dreams saves your life, only to be nearly killed in prison. Then you get bucked by Discord and almost killed again. Now you've skipped town to escape, only to find **her** lookalike here. Hasn't Discord screwed me over enough?"

'_What in tarnation is all this about? Prison? Discord? What the hay happened to him?'_

Phoenix chuckled to himself and made a quiet prayer to- _'Discord!? Isn't that illegal? What did Ah get myself into?'_ Applejack asked herself, bewildered. Then Phoenix yawned, completely destroying the serious atmosphere that his speech had caused. He laughed to himself again and crawled into bed. Fortunately, Luna was on Applejack's side and he slept on his right side. The odd stallion seemed to fall asleep instantly.

'_My employee is insane and an ex-convict.'_ Applejack sighed. _'I'm in for a long night.'_

{A/N: 2313 words! Not counting this note. Welcome to 'The Farmhoof'. If you like it, review and say so! If you didn't, please review and say why. Thank y'all kindly.}

[Sincerely,]

[Zach Flame]


End file.
